University of Texas RULZWho wears short shorts! Reuben wears short shorts!
Yahoo WILL'S SITE RULES
University of Texas RULZ
Texas Tech Sucks against UT!!!
Cowboys Are AWESOME!!!
Tech's RULZ
Or Do They?
Funny Joke
A bartender was washing glasses one afternoon when an
elderly Irishman came in.
With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself
up painfully, and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.
The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The
bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey, too.
The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a hunched back, who moved very
slowly.
He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti.
He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end of the bar.
The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, too.
The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who swaggered into the bar and hollered,
"Barkeep, set me up a cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there?"
The barkeep nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one, too.
As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said,
"For your kindness, you are healed!"
The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he got up and danced a jig out the
door.
Jesus touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"
The Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands above his head and did a flip
out the door.
Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back and exclaimed, "Don't
touch me! I'm drawing disability!"
Houston Astros Rock
Blondes, how dumb they really are.
| A Blonde Astronaut |
| There was a blonde, a red head, and a brunette and they were all up in
space. Each girl tried thinking up ways to be better then the other two... The red head said, "I am going to be the first woman to land on mars." The brunette said, "I can beat that, I'll be the first woman to land on saturn." The blonde said, "I'll beat both of you, I'll be the first woman to land on the sun." "How are you going to do that", the other two asked. "Simple", said the blonde. "I'll go at night!" |
| Beetle Experiment |
| One day, a blonde was left alone in a lab with a beetle. She examined it and
decided to do an experiment. She pulled off one of its legs, then asked it to run. The beetle obeyed her command. Then, she pulled off a second leg and asked it to run. It did, but with a lot of difficulty. Finally, she pulled the remaining legs off and asked it to run. It couldn't. "I have made a new discovery!" the blonde cried. "When you pull all of a beetle's legs off, it becomes deaf!!" |
| Blonde and the Western |
| A blonde and her husband are laying in bed watching TV, an old western is
on. The husband says to his wife, "I bet you breakfast in bed that the covered wagon hits a rock and the driver falls out dead," "You're on," returned his wife. They watch the western and sure enough the wagon hits a rock in the dirt road and the driver falls out of the wagon ... dead. The wife gets out of bed and returns shortly with a tray of food. After eating the husband says, "I have to admit that I saw this movie before." She in turn confesses, "I saw the movie before too. But I didn't think he was stupid enough to ride over the same rock twice...." |
| Blonde Convention |
| 80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes
Are Not Stupid Convention". The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcastmedia here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened -- the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!" The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?". Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!" |